Eighteen Pounds of Swingin Meat

HOW DO YOU MEASURE UP?Do You Have Enough ToSatisfy Her.Or Do YouFall SHORT?

Imagine you\'re at a bar late at night. Last call has just sounded. All the beautiful women left a couple hours ago, but over there in the corner sits a woman! Your friends would tell you she\'s butt-ugly, but they\'ve left for the night-and besides, you try to imagine her with all of her teeth and she really doesn\'t look all that bad. She wants you for a night of hot, sweaty, passionless sex.

In your drunken state you have two choices. You can go home and stain the sheets yourself or know this could be the most exciting night of your lives, or it could be the most embarrassing. And if it isn\'t the most embarrassing now, it will be in the morning for you when you wake up to the., well, you know. But right now, you\'re thoughts aren\'t on the folds of fat on her body and hey, didn\'t you just wash those sheets a couple months or so ago.

When she unbuttons your slacks and grasps your erect, well semi-erect, okay, flaccid penis for the first time, what will she think? Will you have enough to satisfy her? Okay, maybe you don\'t care about that and she\'s too drunk to care, but will you have enough to reach your target as you lay on top of her 44 inch belly dangling in mid-air?

Well, we\'ve found the answer. In a recent study we\'ve heard about or somebody here at the office made up, 7 out of 10 women when asked said they were dissatisfied with the size of their partner\'s penis. That\'s a 70 chance she\'ll crave more! The other 30 would have been dissatisfied if they could have found their partner\'s penis.

But there\'s no need to worry. Thanks to a new supplement called GrowCOCK, men all over the world are adding 1.3.5.even 7 inches to the size of their erect penis! Some that have doubled or tripled the dose, which we recommend, laugh at those numbers.

WHAT IS GrowCOCK?

GrowCOCK is an all-natural, non-prescription pill concocted in a junior high science lab with over 18(19 to be exact) rare and exotic ingredients imported from Africa and Brazil. One ingredient was even the subject of research for the \Nobel Prize of Medicine\ winning research team in 1898, we think. Somebody told us that and we believe it. Even if it wasn\'t, it should have been.

Now imagine this: You\'ve taken GrowCOCK for a few months and your favorite porn queen sees your penis for the first time, it is 1 to 19 inches longer and much thicker. Could you imagine the look on her face? Watching her swoon with the look of terror in her eyes. Well, this could be possible if you take GrowCOCK!

Think that\'s something! Listen to this undocumented testimonial. One man reported reported going skinny-dipping at a public zoo. He didn\'t report any swooning, but the look of terror in that water buffalo\'s eyes let him know he was King of that jungle that night!

How Do You Take GrowCOCK?

You swallow it you moron! We said it was a pill didn\'t we. Yes, just 18 little pills an hour for the first three weeks, taken in intervals of 3 every 10 minutes and then 4 pills every morning and 2 pills every four hours except the eighth hour when you take 3 and a couple extra just before going to bed for luck and your pen is-oops, we mean penis(hee-hee) is guaranteed to be longer. This is our GrowCOCK guarantee, but more on that later when you\'re no longer thinking about the guarantee and buy in to the rest of this ad.

How Does GrowCOCK Work?

We\'re not completely sure since it really hasn\'t been tested on human beings yet. In your penis is a series of chambers and when you get sexually aroused your brain-the one in your head-releases a chemical called Nitric Oxide which sends blood, filling these chambers in your penis. Whatever it is in GrowCOCK mixes with this natural body chemical forming an acid that actually burns the lining of the chambers making them bigger and able to hold more blood. After the seemingly hours of agony and misery, you\'ll actually have a bigger and more erect penis. Yes, in a short time you\'ll have the real gift Mr. Ed enjoyed! When the mares are put out to pasture, do you know who they\'ll be calling? That\'s right: YOU!

Our 30 Day Guarantee

Okay, this is the part you can skip. There isn\'t really a 30 day guarantee. If you\'ve been paying attention, it takes months for this stuff to work and you have to follow the directions precisely. However, if you do that, take before and after pictures, and provide us sworn statements from your doctor, employer, a member of the clergy and three former girlfriends using the name GrowCOCK at least four times in their affidavits, that you still have a little peter-pecker and didn\'t obtain a longer, thicker, harder penis in the first 30 days and, you agree to sign a release for the photos that your penis documenting you have a pathetic little weenie that we can use in our ad for Shrunken Cock Syndrome on or web site, we\'ll give you your money back if you come to our offices located in whichever state we happen to operating out of at the time.

Remember, a man with a 7, 8 or 18 inch penis is simply better-equipped than a man with an average 5 or 6 lousy inches. Would you rather have more than enough to get the job done or fall short? If it doesn\'t work, do you really want the world to know how small your penis is after we digitally shorten the length to two inches, hide it under a pot-belly and post it on our web site with your picture, name, address and phone number?

How To Try A Bottle

Here\'s what I want you to do. Get your credit card out and call 1-555-GrowCOCK and say, \Yes, I\'d like to have 18 pounds of swingin\' meat!\ If the operator giggles when you call, she\'s not laughing at you, she\'s just nervous thinking about that howitzer you\'re going to be carrying between your legs that will be menacing her friends.

And here\'s the good news! The first bottle, good for 30 days costs just 299.95 plus shipping and handling. After that, each month\'s supply is just 69.95 and we\'ll even pay the shipping and handling. You\'re credit card will be billed automatically three months in advance and every three months after that. You\'ll never have to make that phone call again. And that\'s not all, packages and billings will be discreetly posted under \Big Dick\. Unless of course you even attempt to take advantage of the money back guarantee filled with innocuous sounding words having no meaning-then you\'ll receive a barrage of mail with a return address showing as \'Small Cocks Anonymous\' in bright red letters and the motto: \Accept The Things You Cannot Change\ printed on the front and back of the envelope. Heck, we\'ll even send letters to your friends(both guys and gals) from YOU inviting them to attend your Small Cocks Anonymous support group to give you aid and comfort.

Remember, you can\'t buy GrowCOCK in stores because they\'ve never heard of it and aren\'t won\'t be willing to risk the threat of lawsuits if they ever do. And believe us when we tell you, no self-respecting doctor is going to prescribe it to you. You can only get here, from us. This month our main office is in Idaho, last month it was in Michigan and next month, well, we\'re not sure yet.

The beauty of GrowCOCK is it\'s not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. That\'s right, no endless forms for us to fill out, no silly testing and no reports of adverse effects except as required below. Of course we are regulated by the United States Postal Inspector\'s Office. We are however required by law to inform you of the following disclaimer in print to small to read so it\'s better to just skip it(nobody likes the word \small\ in a penis ad anyway) and think instead of the grand-spanking new BIG penis you\'ll have in just a few short months.

Disclaimer: We are required by law to print this in ads but you\'re not required to read it. GrowCOCK has not been clinically tested on humans although it is believed to have been used in experiments on horse farms in Brazil. While the ingredients are natural, they are mostly unknown and their fitness for human consumption is questionable. However, nearly half of the men that have used it experienced at least three of the following symptoms and the rest experienced nearly all: throat ulcers, hoarseness(or should we say HORSE-ness), cataracts, asthma, male breast enlargement, testicular cancer, retinitis pigmentosa, extreme dizziness, rhinal enlargement equal to two inches for every inch of penis growth, kidney disease, rectal bleeding, uncontrolled diarrhea, fecal leakage from the nasal cavities, and a very strong sexual attraction to large female mammals. GrowCOCK should never ever be taken within six hours of ingesting food or food products either before or after taking it and you should never drink liquids of any kind 12 hours before or after taking a dose of GrowCOCK. The failure to follow the instructions precisely has been shown to lead to mental illness in nearly all cases, but hey, you\'ve read this far so who\'s going to notice!

*In the flaccid state, the penis has been known to completely retract after just three doses, then become erect inside the body causing disembowelment.

Your penis will more than likely turn black, not because of anything to do with these countries, but because the inside burning of the chamber walls will cause discoloration of the outer layer of the penile skin.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!

Operators are standing by now to take your order. Impress your friends, impress your mother with the equipment you should have been born with and, most of all, give that special someone in your life a treat to remember: Slide your emaciated, dehydrated body next to the woman you love the most and whip out that rotting, gangrenous slab of meat(but not too fast to prevent breaking and tearing) and show her a time she\'ll never forget! Call now or visit our web site at mydickstoosmall.

Don\'t Think Your The Man-Be The Man!